Dear friends, interesting creatures and fuckwits
who lurk in the shadows, who don’t leave comments,
“Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart.I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.” - E. E. Cummings
I have been blogging for roughly 15 years in many spaces and various places, I did HNT for many years (…and if you don’t know what HNT is, I am not going to explain, but you sure missed out. I am the Queen of self photography *smile*), I love wire art and cupcakes. I love Pinterest , Twitter, Face Book – I am a social media addict.
I adore the colour purple and when I l♡ve…… I love BIG… so when I hurt, I hurt BIG…… and for a bloody long time. I can cry like nobody’s business. I have some weirdo connection with the number 7, am HUGELY enthusiastic about tattoos (I had ink done 22 times thus far – I got my first tattoo in my 30′s so yeah… 14 till I die) as a form of expression as one can only stay in one skin so long before you need to decorate or remodel (hence I have nothing against plastic surgery (I am having an out of money experience), nor the gym).
In my 39th year, I still wonder what the meaning of life is, passions and my purpose in life. Basically? I’m unique. Just like everyone else.
I am a Gemini (but I don’t believe in astrology) with a personalised number plate because I am oulik like that. If people are going to swear at me in traffic, they should at least use my name. Apparently I am dead funny, when I’m not suicidal. Who knew?
I love to laugh, but my heart hurts
VERY easily. My default emotion is anxiety. I communicate via my BlackBerry (I couldn’t afford the Samsung III data charges so I had to settle for Blackberry – you get over it) which to my husband’s dismay is attached to my arm which allows me all the social interaction I need. Pity it doesn’t hug or make tea…
I have become a bit of a hermit who takes long holidays. I am trying to change that. The hermit… not the holidays. I love road trips. I’ve taken up being a gym person. I had no idea it could be this pleasurable.
I find the big, bad, tattood All-Blacks doing the ‘haka’ very arousing, I adore the theatre (just not ballet – it makes me giggle – all that jumping and men in tights.. not a testosterone high for me… I like my men big and hairy… with proper thights – so if I were a gay man, Bears would do it for me!) with my favourite stage personality being Ian Von Memerty. He is the most gifted, extraordinary talent ever. I declare it so, and so it shall be.
I enjoy going to the movies with popcorn and green slush….. but sitting in the wrong seat fucks with my head. I find seedy sex shops with flashing nipples interesting but sleazy.
I love books that flirt with emotion, psychology and forensics. Am so thankful my daughter, Victoria is following beautifully in her mothers footsteps. I l♡ve my Kindle but there is still a certain pleasure in opening a book, the smell, touch…it’s unbelievably sensational.
I am not shy to admit I love country music, Judy Garland and Broadway musicals, which make me a gay magnet… My favourite movie of all time is “Shirley Valentine”. My favourite song is Ian Von Memerty version of “Mr Bojangles“. I cry. Loudly. I don’t know how to sniffle softly. Actually there are very few things I do softly.
I do not hug trees, I don’t care for re-cycling, my kids did not wear cloth nappies but I like the thought of slow dancing with the moon. I am fond of vodka, prescription medication and water (still, never sparkling!). I also like Tequila.
I believe in fairies, compassion, empathy and second, third and maybe even fourth chances. I find Freud fascinating and normality to be over-rated. I have no time for racist crap, and making inappropriate generalised statements is one sure way to piss me off a great deal. I love South Africa with a deep passion and I don’t believe in luck.
I celebrate my birthday with a child-like excitement and only ever blow out 14 candles. I love weekends (or weeks…) in the country (room service style, none of this squatting in the bush nonsense). I don’t own a million pairs of shoes and I wear matching underwear
as far as possible. I admire the dedication of Jewish folk and am I pretend Jew. I wish I could speak Hebrew.
I love my son, Kev doing Borat better than Borat, but hate Jewish jokes. Yes, I know. Contradiction. I love going for a bit of a walk, but am not fond of nature and much prefer walking in the urban jungle – inside the gym for example. I hate camping. No man has made me want to sleep on dirt and get stung by insects and find it pleasurable. Fuck off with that idea and afford proper holidays where drinks come with wee umbrella’s.
I love the sexy smell of cherry cigars and whisky – but I don’t smoke, nor drink whisky. I enjoy erotic writing (Bring it on Mr. Grey) and while I am not fond of animals, I have three cats: Lady Cayte, Countessa Gina and Duchess Isabella (we call her Bella) and play Granny to my daughter, Victoria’s kitten Pirate Faith…. and one angel kitten in heaven, Baby Gaga who was my first pet ever at 37.
I do love interesting creatures; I’m affectionate and loud, funny and entertaining, unpredictable while other times I prefer my own solitude. I am a coward in many ways and Brave Heart in others. I love Afrikaans, my mother tongue, although one must judge the music in isolation. I prefer going barefoot, chicken on a braai and am not fond of sweet potato or baked beans (disgusting). I have issues with trust.
I brush my teeth multiple times a day, I have nothing against gay people but I draw the line at doing sheep…. I detest the word “bitch“. I love make-up and glitter is fabulous darling! I wear expensive perfume (Angel, the first perfume by Thierry Mugler and Clinique’s Aromatics are my favourites) and Clinique’s “Chocolate Ice” lip stick.
I detest one ply toilet paper and one must use serviettes. Be proper.
I colour my hair every second Friday as grey is simply not acceptable. I like matching colours on my fingers and toes (gelish) - or porn nails and purple toes. Unless I am broke. ;(
I have never done recreational drugs and never will.
I never want to hear how I am not optimistic, do you have any idea how many times I have been married? Noid is testosterone deluxe, has gorgeous thighs, cries in Disney movies, but sometimes his early training as a teacher comes out, which makes him the alpha male. He works in Management in the financial services sector and is very good at what he does. I am very proud of him.
Noid has three children from his previous marriages: Nic is 22, Douglas is 13 and Jenna-Lee is 9. I am not your bake biscuits from scratch kinda Mom but I love my children with a depth I cannot adequate articulate. I have three children from my previous marriages: My Kev is 19, Liam James is 17 and Victoria is 13. I also have two children born from my heart: Kyle is 20 and Kyla is also 20. (No, they not related.) No, I will not be producing anymore children.
I live a life of contradiction and terribly bourgeois.
I wish you enough,
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”
- Kurt Cobain