Dear friends, interesting creatures and fuckwits
who lurk in the shadows, who don’t leave comments,
Wεทchƴ¸.¸. ҉¨ Freelance Social Media Accounts Manager
My desire to be myself is greater than my need to fit in.
I have been blogging for roughly 17 years in many spaces and various place. I did HNT for many years (…and if you don’t know what HNT is, I am not going to explain, but you sure missed out. I am the Queen of self photography *smile*), I love wire art and cupcakes.
I am a mom blogger, a wife blogger, a girl blogger, a housewife blogger, a sexual being blogger, a has been corporate slave blogger, a chronic illness blogger, a bi-polar blogger, an ex-husband is gay blogger, a daughter blogger, a granddaughter blogger, a divorced blogger, an eloped blogger, a step-mom blogger, a third time married blogger, a beauty salon lover blogger, a mom with teenagers blogger, an empty nest blogger, a consumer blogger, an entertainment blogger, a theatre loving blogger, a gay pride blogger, a wish I was a Jew blogger, a South African blogger, a non conformist blogger, an unconventional family blogger, I hate being put in a box blogger - I have lived a life worth writing about… and one day I will. Just waiting for some folks to die first!
I adore the colour purple and when I love…… I love BIG… so when I hurt, I hurt BIG…… and for a bloody long time. I can cry like nobody’s business. I have some weirdo connection with the number 7, am addicted, enthusiastic and in love with tattoos (I have had ink done 25 times thus far ). I got my first tattoo in my 30′s so yeah… #14forever. To me, tattoos are a form of expression, as one can only stay in one skin so long before you need to decorate or remodel (hence I have nothing against plastic surgery – I am merely having an out of money experience). Tattoos are also a socially acceptable form of self mutilation, cutting and feeling the physical pain when emotional pain is overwhelming and in direct opposite, being so elated that the moment has to be captured in ink… it is telling a story….
I still wonder what the meaning of life is. I do have many passions, but as for the purpose? I don’t know. Basically? I’m unique. Just like everyone else.
I am a Gemini (but I don’t believe in astrology) with a personalised number plate because I am oulik like that. If people are going to swear at me in traffic, they should at least use my name. Apparently I am dead funny, when I’m not suicidal. Who knew?
I love to laugh, but my heart hurts
VERY easily. My default emotion is anxiety. I communicate via my BlackBerry & S4 - which to my husband’s dismay is attached to my arm which allows me to be in real time all over the globe. Pity it doesn’t hug or make tea…
I have become a bit of a hermit who takes long holidays. I am trying to change that. The hermit… not the holidays. I love road trips. I’ve taken up being a gym person. I had no idea it could be this pleasurable. I default often. Sadly.
I find the big, bad, tattood All-Blacks doing the ‘haka’ very arousing, I adore the theatre (just not ballet – it makes me giggle – all that jumping and men in tights.. not a testosterone high for me… I like my men big and hairy… with proper thighs – so if I were a gay man, Bears would do it for me!).
I enjoy going to the movies with popcorn and green slush….. but sitting in the wrong seat fucks with my head. I find seedy sex shops with flashing nipples interesting but sleazy.
I love books that flirt with emotion, psychology and forensics. Am so thankful my daughter, Victoria is following beautifully in her mothers footsteps. I love my Kindle but there is still a certain pleasure in opening a book, the smell, touch…it’s unbelievably sensational.
I am not shy to admit I love country music, Judy Garland and Broadway musicals, which make me a gay magnet…and I have zero gaydar. My favourite movie of all time is “Shirley Valentine”. My favourite song is Ian Von Memerty’s version of “Mr Bojangles“. I cry. Loudly. I don’t know how to sniffle softly. Actually there are very few things I do softly. Ian Von Memerty is the most gifted, extraordinary talent ever. I declare it so, and so it shall be.
I do not hug trees, I don’t care for re-cycling, my kids did not wear cloth nappies but I like the thought of slow dancing with the moon. I am fond of vodka, prescription medication and water (still, never sparkling!). I also like Tequila. Not fond of beige.
I believe in fairies, compassion, empathy and second, third and maybe even fourth chances. I find Freud fascinating and normality to be over-rated. I have no time for racist crap, and making inappropriate generalised statements is one sure way to piss me off a great deal. I love South Africa with a deep passion and I don’t believe in luck.
I celebrate my birthday with a child-like excitement and only ever blow out 14 candles. I love weekends (or weeks…) in the country (room service style, none of this squatting in the bush nonsense). I don’t own a million pairs of shoes and I wear matching underwear..
I love my son, Kev doing Borat better than Borat, but hate Jewish jokes. Yes, I know. Contradiction. I love going for a bit of a walk, but am not fond of nature and much prefer walking in the urban jungle :) I hate camping. No man has made me want to sleep on dirt and get stung by insects and find it pleasurable. Fuck off with that idea and afford proper holidays where drinks come with wee umbrella’s.
I love the sexy smell of cherry cigars and whisky – but I don’t smoke, nor drink whisky. I enjoy erotic writing (Bring it on Mr. Grey) and while I am not fond of animals, I have two cats: Lady Cayte and Countessa Gina. Our third cat has relocated …so Duchess Isabella (we call her Bella) is living it up with her big sister Kyla. I play Granny to my daughter, Victoria’s kitten Pirate Faith…. and one angel kitten in heaven, Baby Gaga who was my first pet ever at 37.
I do love interesting creatures. I’m affectionate and loud, funny and entertaining, unpredictable while other times I prefer my own solitude. I am a coward in many ways and Brave Heart in others. I love Afrikaans, my mother tongue, although one must judge the music in isolation. I prefer going barefoot, chicken on a braai and am not fond of sweet potato or baked beans (disgusting). I have issues with trust.
I brush my teeth multiple times a day, I have nothing against gay people but I draw the line at doing sheep…. I detest the word “bitch“. I love make-up and glitter is fabulous darling! I wear perfume (Angel by Thierry Mugler and Clinique’s Aromatics are my favourites) and Clinique’s “Chocolate Ice” lip stick.
I detest one ply toilet paper and one must use serviettes. Be proper.
I colour my hair every second Friday as grey is simply not acceptable. I like matching colours on my fingers and toes (gelish) - or porn nails and purple toes. Unless I am broke. ;(
I have never done recreational drugs and never will.
I never want to hear how I am not optimistic, do you have any idea how many times I have been married?
My husband has three children from his previous marriages: Nic, Douglas and Jenna-Lee. I am not your bake biscuits from scratch kinda Mom but I love my children with a depth I cannot adequate articulate. I have three children from my previous marriages: My Kev is 20, Liam James is 17 and Victoria is 14. I also have two children born from my heart: Kyle is 20 and Kyla is also 20. (No, they not related but they both hold my heart in their hands.) I will not be producing anymore children – ever.
I live a life of contradiction and terribly bourgeois.
I wish you enough,
“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”
- Kurt Cobain